Hard or Soft

Warning: Before some x-rated images flash through your mind...this post has nothing to do with body parts:)

i'm a non-confrontational person by nature. i complain a lot but, only to the people close to me i.e. they suffer my frustrations. to 'external' parties, i'm mostly very nice so, when i do get into a confrontation, i sometimes lose my composure; say the wrong things or decide to get into a scrap with the other party. often this catches outsiders by surprise because i'm usually mild mannered and generally very nice;) it's also very embarrassing for me because i lose my cool only for that moment. i'm back to normal shortly after. its awkward when i've to deal with that person again.

mostly, the issues are very minor but, perhaps i've been harboring feelings of 'animosity' (maybe too strong a word..) to the external party for sometime (since i don't confront, i just keep everything inside) so, there is a lot of penned up frustrations. it gets released in that one moment of madness.

i guess the point of this rant is, should i be more confrontational or vocal in future, instead of holding all this 'issues' until one fine day...kaBOOM! there's also the point of if i can't do the 'hard stuff' can i still climb the corporate ladder? do i need the hard skills or can i get by with the soft skills? Soft skills does involve a lot of consultative negotiations which gets tiring when dealing with confrontational people. Sometimes i just don't want to talk.

As i increase the people in my team, the more i've to think about management, leadership, responsibilities to the team. The team has been labeled 'the future' yet, it feels like we're moving around like headless chickens. We cannot solely blame the 'upper management'. It's time we set our own course...